frost over

Weather: Nice and cozy in the dorm room environment. I'll find out about outside in a little while.

Mood: Quite rested, content.

Book: [u]Passing[/u] -- Nella Larsen.

Song: "Find Your Way Back" -- Michelle Branch.

Subject of post: Last night I had dinner with two of my close friends here at college, who were also really close to me. We were close in high school too, as one of them was my roommate then, and now they are roommates in college. Anyway, it was quite nice because I haven't been able to sit down with just the two of them in a long time. Anyway, I had an [b]enormous[/b] plate of combination Thai fried rice. Enough to feed...2-3 people in my family. And I polished all of it off -- not a rice grain to spare. Incredibly full, my friends and I left Thai Raja to start in on some homework and some laundry. (Yes, homework on a Friday night, and if you're willing to pick a fight with me about it, let's go. :P ) Started in on homework for an hour when two of my friends, who are now dating each other, from upstate swung by to see us. Granted, both are also friends from high school...and he's an ex...to both her and me at different points in our high school career. Kinda makes me laugh sometimes, but I guess it'd be funnier if you had more background. So, they're dating again, and he admonished my other two friends and me for working on a Friday night instead of being out partying. So after a long fight, we finally gave in and went out to Applebee's. Now, specifically to the subject of my post: I ordered a lemonade and split a fudge brownie sundae and a slice of a Hershey's 5 or 6 layer chocolate cake with two of my friends. There wasn't much room left from the rice, but oh, I made room. Whoops.

Now for a little analysis of the situation. You can't escape it -- you know how I am by now if you've read any random sampling of three entries from my weblog. :wink: It was really weird having old and new friends together at a table, kind of talking in between bites of dessert. And it was quite odd talking to my ex...we haven't spoken in so long because things ended quite badly between us. It was nice to be able to converse with him again, but I wonder if there's anything that we're shielding from each other to delve back into friendship. And I also know that I probably shouldn't worry about that, but I can't really help myself...

Enough of that. By the time we got back, it was around 12:30 or 1:00, so the original pack comprised of my two friends and me began our work once more. By the time we were through/couldn't take working anymore, it was 4:00 a.m., and I hopped into bed.

Awakened at 11:30 this morning to another friend visiting from out of state. He and another guy at the door laughed at my disheveled appearance and incoherent state as I stumbled out of bed to answer. Anyway, he said he'd come back later to see me and we'd go on a Panera bread outing. Yum. I'm excited. After I realized what had happened. :)

Back to bed I went for another 3 hours, and here I am, about to start up more work, or to grab a snack.

It's another war of productivity vs. counter-productivity. And I'm wondering who will will this weekend...

Toodles.

Weather: Incredibly cold this week. I wish this state would get its seasons straightened out.

Mood: Tired, tense, on the verge of relief. Almost the weekend...almost.

Music: "New Deep" -- John Mayer.

Book: [u]Passing[/u] -- Nella Larsen.

Subject of post: So it really is possible to stay away from blogging for a good amount of time. I didn't think I could do it. My professors obviously figured that it would be a cinch for me if they just gave me lots of work and tests and stuff. They're the best ever.

*edit* Forgot that I wanted to add this. Is it bad to prefer a substitute professor over the professor that actually teaches the course? I think this is the case in Honors Calculus III for me. Dr. Brady (the sub) is simply more engaging and seems like he's really into what he's teaching, more so than the assigned professor, Dr. Roche. I find that the courses I'm taking this semester with teachers who are really passionate about what they do/what material they're teaching convey ideas and topics to their students in a clearer way and are more involved. And I like that, even if the subject isn't one of my favorites, because these professors spark my interest in a topic once again and rekindle the remaining embers a little. Thought for the day. There you have it. *end edit*

Chocolate chunk cookies and black chai teas have been my salvation this week. It's been really long and really rough. Drove upstate to see some old high school friends who are at another a college. Went out to dinner, had a lot of interesting stories *cough gossip cough* to relate, and a few insults to throw out there. But all in good fun. I hope. Anyway, it was great to see them all.

I have this [i]tiny[/i] tendency to get dramatic from time to time. Oh, and by tiny, I mean, regular sized. Anyone ever find themselves crying over nothing? Well, not crying, but getting that whole teary-eyed business out of stress/frustration/anxiet y/jealousy/insert something random. Right. Umm, me neither. I find myself getting stressed over things that I really shouldn't bother with and getting upset over things from the past. How to break out of this cycle? If I knew, I wouldn't be having this conversation with my weblog.

And on that note, I'm out like the proverbial trout. Have a great weekend, everyone.

Weather: Quite lovely. I'm still wondering why I'm sittting inside my room on a day like this.

Mood: Okay. Simply.

Song: "Hurricane" -- Something Corporate

Book: [u]The Vintage Book of Contemporary American Poetry[/u] -- edited by J.D. McClatchy. It's back.

Subject of post: A line from the song above that I'm currently listening to.

It's Sunday. "Homework/Catch-up" Day. And that holds true for me, although I still find myself procrastinating, even though I have done so for most of the weekend. Convergence/divergence tests for infinite series, addition-elimination reactions to break double-bonded carbons, Punnett squares to determine genotypic and phenotypic ratios, and probability distributions of gas particle movement are ahead of me this afternoon. On a lighter note, I finished [u]Bread Givers[/u] by Anzia Yezierska. Splendid book about the hardships of a Jewish immigrant family in New York in the 1920s, concentrated specifically on the youngest daughter of the family who goes against tradition and her father, breaking away to start a life of her own -- to get an education and become a teacher. However, it made me awfully depressed after reading it. Not such a lighter note, after all.

Off to enjoy some unhealthy snacks and a bottle of water as I forge through the homework/study topics I rattled off up there for no apparent reason.

Aside: My soulmate bought me a late Christmas gift :) and, subsequently, dyed his hair. Hmm. Those don't go together, but anyway. Gift purchase: the movie [u]Better Luck Tomorrow[/u] (hope it's good) and hair color transformation: dirty blond -- jet black.

Academic aside: best thing I've read off a dorm room message board yet..."If you were homework, I'd be doing you on my bed right now." That's not suggestive at all...*cough*

Movie: [u]Big Fish[/u].

Excellent, heart-warming. I recommend it.

Belated Happy Chinese New Year, that is. Year of the monkey, I think? Yes, I should probably know better.

Anyway, I forgot that last night, so I figured I might catch all the late risers or the ones who are always last to know...like myself.

Weather: Cold, clear night. Good times, good times.

Mood: Tired -- primary feeling expressing itself at the moment. It's sad though because it's only been a 4-day week. It feels much longer, however.

Book: [u]Bread Givers[/u] -- Anzia Yezierska. Pretty good so far.

Music: "Flamenco Sketches (Alternate Take)" -- Miles Davis, from the [u]Kind of Blue[/u] album. Are there any Davis fans out there?

Subject of post: Standard greeting at the restaurant across the street -- Pad Thai. Same waiter (usually), same company ("soulmate"), same dish (well, pad thai or fried rice, but fixed the same way -- Bangkok style). Mmmm, yum....*warm fuzzy feeling* Ooh, and with some Thai spring rolls and hot tea. *smiles with content*

Schoolin': So, today was my first "real" Organic Lab. I'm not sure what it is, but labs always start out well for me and end quite badly. I guess this one turned out okay, but still. Simple distillation -- separation of ethyl acetate and trans-1, 2-dibenzoylethylene. Basically, a purification method involving the phase changes between the liquid and gas phases. Separating a yellow liquid to obtain a yellow solid and a colorless liquid that recondenses. Because I know you were really interested.

Oh, and also...Honors Calc III this morning marks the second time a professor has used cat analogies to explain higher mathematics. The first time was by a professor who actually used cat figures in creating functions (a college-level high school story for you...), but I guess that's another story for another time.

And then in Honors Perspectives: Jazz Age America, a professor jokingly mentioned, "Come on -- think like Commies." Is that offensive? I know he didn't mean it to be, and I didn't take it like that at the time. But it still feels a little strange to say. He had just finished lecturing about the Red Scare and was posing the question of why Russian workers and anarchists were against the establishment of democracy. Quite interesting.

Okay, school time's over. Recess! Now go run out and play. But don't get hurt on the monkeybars/merry-go-round /swings.

Weather: Slightly chilly. So winter [i]is[/i] back...for a little while, at least.

Mood: Apathetic.

Book: [u]Bread Givers[/u] -- Anzia Yezierska.

Music: The [u]Kind of Blue[/u] album -- Miles Davis, et al. Finally got my hands on the real thing. If you don't have it, get it. Right now. Pry fingers away from keyboard, and go. Very 8) .

Subject of post: Literally, first track off of aforementioned album. And in other terms, so what? (Also stemming from my mood, I suppose.) So what if I don't do homework/studying for one night, i.e., this night? What great effect will it have upon my life as a whole? Will I be a worse person for it, when I look back on my college years? Will it make me feel less accomplished? Will I regret not having studied to my fullest extent fifty years down the road from now?

My instincts at the current time say yes. They say, yes, I will be stressed, and I will worry, and I will feel guilty. And that is what will be my downfall someday. This moment, not working to the best of my abilities...this very moment will determine the course of the rest of my life.

But I know that my instincts are shot to...well, you know where. Studying consumes me, in general, and has for the majority of my educational (and life) journey thus far. I find that I don't know what to do myself, after all the academia is thrown out the window. So I shut myself into my dorm room, like the little hermit that I am, and listen to 1960s jazz (yes, see above album), and type on my little journal entry, prose/poetry/whatever, hoping to make tonight a little different from all the rest, hoping to change the world, but, inevitably, minutely by making a tiny dent instead. I can't help but feel that my actions are somewhat insignificant in the big scheme of things. Nevertheless, I persevere...I strive...I keep going. And for what? Well, so what?

And speaking of hermit...I've been told by aforementioned ex-boyfriend that I have become more reserved, when in all actuality, I see myself as the same level of "reservedness" (?...antisocialness, quietness) as before. I hope I'm not pulling away from people more than I already have in the past. Because I'd be quite far away by this point. Be open, be open, be open *repeats mantra*...

Done. Now off to read aforementioned book for class. Because I don't know what else to do. :?

And yes, I use "aforementioned" a lot. Any fun, interesting synonyms I could use instead?

Weather: Lots of wind + Lots of rain = not the most pleasant outing to grab a quick dinner. Very much an indoor day for me.

Mood: A bit lonely. A bit indifferent. And a bit empty.

Music: "Quiet" -- John Mayer

Book: [u]Genetics: From Genes to Genomes[/u] -- Hartwell, Hood, Goldberg, Reynlds, Silver, and Veres. I can only read the textbook for so long before I get a little crazy.

Subject of post: I wanted to quote something from the Fitzgerald novelette I read last night called [i]May Day[/i].

"-- Love is fragile -- she was thinking -- but perhaps the pieces are saved, the things that hovered on lips, that might have been said. The new love words, the tendernesses learned, are treasured up for the next lover."

What do you think of that?

Intro: In other news...I'm not sure what it is, but I seem to inevitably be led to self-analyzation these days.

Dorm room is silent. My logical thought processes tell me that if I leave the room this way, I will start to think, which will prove to be detrimental for me. Thus, I turn on music, hoping to drown out the voices (of reason and of irrationality, for starters) in my head, but to no avail.

Tonight I have found myself thinking of an ex-boyfriend, who now attends the same college as me. Actually, there are east and west sides on my floor. He lives on east, I on west. Funny how that works out.

Anyway, he and I both know it wouldn't have worked out if we had stayed together, but there's something about what we had or what we were...something previously present that I find myself in a constant, but mostly, a rather quiet, state of longing for. The logical part of me has concluded that I don't miss him, particularly, but feelings invoked by the relationship and the connection we had, in general. Just little things here and there that you miss when you're not in a relationship. Or even major things that distinguish you from being "involved" with someone, and being outside of that intimacy realm. And the emotional part of me, of course, irrationally screams that I miss [i]him[/i]. Do people always get this distraught over relationships? I hope they're not all like this...I find myself getting too wrapped up in having "everything" in a relationship. I can't just separate physical from emotional. I can't just flip the on/off switch like that. Is that normal? It certainly makes things much harder that way.

And so...I stick with the logical conclusion as much as possible. Which would explain my mood description.

Outro: Closing with another unoriginal: *sigh*

Weather: Rainy. More specifically, very rainy. Kind of nice. Except when I accidentally splash puddles all over my clothes. Grr...:x

Mood: Content, drifting on sleepiness. Both on account of Thai take-out, which I will address shortly.

Book: [i]May Day[/i] -- a novelette by F. Scott Fitzgerald that was published during his first year as a professional writer in July 1920. For my Jazz Age America class. Already finished the two short stories by Hemingway. Rather strange...

Magazine: [u]Time[/u] -- January 19, 2004. Articles: "The Power of Love" and "The Chemistry of Desire" thus far. Still working on it.

Music: [u]A Rush of B-Sides to the Head[/u] -- Coldplay. Entire album. Wonderful.

Subject of post: I think something may be wrong if I'm already sick of campus food after a week. More accurately, I was sick of campus food after about two days. Thus, the Thai take-out this evening. Yes, I just had Pad Thai last night. So tonight I went to Thai Raja instead for an order of roast duck with steamed rice and a side order of steamed mixed vegetables. While waiting for my food at the restaurant, I picked up the January 19, 2004 issue of [u]Time[/u] for perusal. Interesting articles over love, sex, lust...among other things. In case you don't feel like picking up a copy...

[url=http://www.time.com/time/heal...]Time[/url]

Have fun.

Oh, and on another note: remember the gigantic entry I wrote about the guy that I thought was pretty ideal? See "So there's this guy..." post from about a week aoo (Can't seem to get the link thing to work). Ran into him today right before one of my classes. And that was quite pleasant and disheartening at the same time, if you know what I mean.

Greetings, avid and loyal justmycupoftea blog readers. It's been a long week...(everyone knows that Fridays don't matter in college...usually). :roll: Actually, they kind of do matter for me, but that's besides the point. It's been a very, very long day.

Weather: Beautifully mild. Wonderful today, really. Very still and calm, not cold, not hot. Perfect to just unwind outside.

Mood: For the most part, quite good. However, completely drained from the first week of classes -- which isn't supposed to happen to me until about midterms...or finals, even. Just happy that Friday (and a kind of three-day weekend) is almost upon me.

Book: Umm...soon to be [u]Genetics: From Genes to Genomes[/u], Second Edition, by Hartwell, Hood, Goldberg, Reynolds, Silver, and Veres, McGraw Hill. Or if I choose the non-science-y route, an excerpt from the [i]First Forty-nine[/i] in [u]The Complete Short Stories of Ernest Hemingway[/u], New York: Charles Scribner's Sons, 1987. Works: [i]A Very Short Story[/i] and [i]Soldier's Home[/i].

Song: "Desperately" -- Michelle Branch.

Subject of post: A line from aforementioned song. As you've seen, this lyrics thing is a running trend with me.

Anyway, today was very long. 9:00 -- Honors Calc III. My suitemate switched to my class, so that will be better. 10:30 -- Honors Perspectives: Jazz Age America. Extremely fast-paced lecture :shock: ...didn't help that I was sitting in the back, either. Acoustics are horrible because the room is narrow. 1:30 -- Organic Chemistry Lab. Easy for the first day, but it will soon get busier and definitely more difficult. Worked on Organic and Gen. Phys. homework from 5:00-7:30. Had dinner with the "soulmate" at Pad Thai tonight.

/start introspection/analyzation

It's funny how much time we spend together. And everytime we look across the table at each other, it's "I'm so glad we have connected so deeply over the last four months...and it's a shame we can't be together that way." And then we shrug and smile. Sometimes it's funny. Sometimes it's not. Eh...we have [i]almost [/i]everything...but that tiny bit that is lacking is enough to prevent anything from escalating. I've been raised to constantly remind myself that anything temporary may never be worth pursuing, even friendships. But isn't that silly way to live life? Holding back being close to anyone because things are just always so fragile?

/end introspection/analyzation abruptly

I forgot -- I have a gym date with my "twinkie" tonight. In about one minute. Perhaps I'll write more when I return in a few hours.

An hour later...
/resume introspection/analyzation

Started trying to think while jogging, but it wasn't working. Kept listening to my music too much and talking to my gym buddy. Anyway...from earlier. Being close to people...maybe I'm just tired of doing it because I tire of being hurt. But maybe being hurt is better than being numb or desensitized to people, situations, the world at large. And maybe...I'm just a kid with a chronic case of naivete and idealism.

/end whatever this outburst was...at least for the evening

And now that I'm all ick, I should shower and hop into bed, I think.

Good night, moon. Err...wait, that was my childhood book. Good night, everyone.

Today was crazy. Had to run back and forth across campus, (which usually takes 15-20 mins) in about 10 minutes for each class. Silly me for taking classes so far apart on campus, but I really wanted to take them. Honors Calculus III -- 3/15 class members were female. Expected, I guess? I don't know. Honors Perspectives: Jazz Age America -- 5/50 class members were male. Quite interesting. Gen. Phys. II Discussion -- TA didn't show. Picked up NMSC stipend. Yay! And then...since lab will start on Thursday...Organic Chem Lab Lecture with about 400-500 people crammed in a lecture hall. Yikes...I'm scared.

Reading/studying tonight for about 3 hours...and then a friend convinced me to go to the gym tonight for about an hour. 2.5 miles. I really should work harder.

But all in all, after the rushing here and there to class and the added workout at the gym tonight...a "healthy" day, I suppose.

Now, I'm quite worn out. Off to bed. *waves, snuggles under covers, and drifts off to sleep with a smile*

And then the pessimism makes itself known once again -- I wonder how long that smile will last.

Weather: very rainy. I like rainy night weather.

Mood: Ultra-tired (see last post). Excited about today's classes...same goes for tomorrow's.

Book: Same as before.

Music: "Why Can't I" -- Liz Phair

Subject of post: It's a weird day when a) all of my classes go wonderfully right, b) I see my ex talking (and of course, as I, the ex, would tend to see it -- flirting) with someone completely opposite of me while wearing the shirt I bought him for his birthday, c) my soulmate hugs and kisses me on the cheek out of nowhere...and yes, it's awkward..., d) I do something spontaneous, i.e., running out to the mall all of a sudden, having dinner with people I know and don't, inadvertently tour the college town...whoops..., and plan on seeing a movie that everyone feels lukewarm about at the last minute and we all decide not to go, and e) I go on a late-night Wal-Mart run. Oh, and f) I become a little more social. Today was just a day that was completely opposite of how I normally am. And I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

Schedule for tomorrow:

9:00 a.m. -- Honors Calculus III
10:30 a.m. -- Honors Perspectives: Jazz Age America
11:20 a.m. -- Gen. Phys. II Discussion
4:30 a.m. -- Organic Chem Lab Lecture (originally Organic Chem Lab also, at 1:30, but was cancelled for tomorrow since we're just starting)

Busy, busy. But hey, the stipend comes in tomorrow, so maybe things will be looking up.

As for now, off to get as much sleep as possible...and to unconsciously analyze my day by dreaming.

Weather: I have no idea of outside at the moment. It's 4:42 a.m., as I write this...as for inside my dorm room, rather comfortable. Maybe a little on the warm side.

Mood: Very alert and awake. State of confusion.

Book: No reading at the current moment.

Music: Nothing here either.

Subject of post: I am referring to an insomnia bout. Fourth one I can remember, in the past few years. Not sure what's causing it this time. Anxiety over classes? Surely not yet. No work has even been assigned, no tests taken. Teenage love/lust/whatever you want to call what it should be at this age? Not likely. Nothing going on right now of that nature in my life. Maybe because I tried to go to bed earlier in an effort to alter night-owl sleep patterns? Perhaps, but I've tried changing before without having something like this occur.

/end analyzation

Sometimes you're just...awake. I suppose most people would venture out to a living area and turn on the TV, but I would not want to answer to 30-something female college students on my side of the dorm, complaining that they have 7:30 or 8:30 a.m. classes. I suppose most people would grab the keys, head out the door, and find somewhere to go or someplace to eat...something. I don't feel like hopping in my car to go anywhere, only to encounter early-morning college-town work traffic. Not in the mood to write poetry either. Thus, I choose to update a weblog -- full-on prose. Rather strange...

And now, I think I'll try my hand at three more hours of sleep, followed by a gym outing at a "less ungodly" hour, as they say.

Good...morning, I suppose.

Weather: Quite mild today. Great for the afternoon jog.

Mood: Sleepy...surprisingly, at this early hour for me. Indifferent towards classes tomorrow.

Book: [u]The Vintage Book of Contemporary American Poetry[/u] -- edited by J.D. McClatchy

Music: "This Is Your Life" -- Switchfoot

Subject of post: Tomorrow = First day of classes for the new semester.

Schedule:
12:30 p.m. -- Genetics
1:30 p.m. -- Organic II
2:30 p.m. -- Gen. Phys. II

Hopefully before that, some jogging and lunch. We'll see.

Umm...to keep you entertained.

[url=http://www.chriswetherell.com...]elf[/url]
[url=http://www.chriswetherell.com...]hobbit[/url]

Bon soir, mes amis.

"Because You Asked about the Line between Prose and Poetry" -- Howard Nemerov

Sparrows were feeding in a freezing drizzle
That while you watched turned into pieces of snow
Riding a gradient invisible
From silver aslant to random, white, and slow.

There came a moment that you couldn't tell.
And then they clearly flew instead of fell.

Weather: The nice kind of chilly.

Mood: tiffed.

Book: [u]The Vintage Book of Contemporary American Poetry[/u] -- edited by J.D. McClatchy. (I'll be on this one for a while -- be on the lookout for quotes from it.)

Music: "The Way You Look Tonight" -- Tony Bennett.

Subject of post: Know what I love about public pianos? They're for everyone! Know what I hate about public pianos? They're for everyone! I was under the impression that since campus is pretty much dead, I would be able to explore my suppressed creativity in front of a grand piano in one of the student centers, all by my lonesome (as I seem to prefer these days)...maybe write something new finally. But, no. Alas, there are still people...go away, all of you! *waves hands* No luck there.

Now I retreat to the confines of my dorm room to sit and write and maybe make up chord progression thingamajigs in my head. Today was interesting. Bought and returned books at every bookstore close to campus. Found a lot of them used somewhere else, so decided to return all of the newly bought ones. Didn't realize it would take so long. Then went powerwalking with the same friend as last night. More talking ensued as well, which was fine. Church, and then a lovely dinner at an Italian restuarant with two other friends. The odd thing was that our waiter passed by our table a minimum of 20 times during our meal. My two friends swear it was because of me and that he was flirting with me. I decisively shook my head no...but decided that if it meant free tiramisu, I'd flirt back. :P Alas, no flirting and no tiramisu -- I was quite full and content from dinner.

And now...here I am, longing ever so much for a [baby] grand to have for myself -- and [i]just[/i] myself this evening. Wishful thinking to no avail, however. Away, to non-prose land I go.

Drove back today, starting around 9:30 a.m. 5 long hours to the city. Lovely drive, if you exclude getting cut off by people several times over and encountering several quickly changing traffic lights (red just loves me), and finding a limited selection of music on the radio. Yes, I tend to get cranky without music. Pulled off the interstate to say hello to my brother at his apartment, and to drop off a few things from home that he wanted. Quick goodbye, and then on the road again, another hour south to campus amidst much traffic. Picked up my textbooks, but was told they didn't have all of them, so scouted for the other textbooks at other places, but the other places either didn't have one of them, and the others that they did have were all brand spanking new. Buying textbooks can be the new bane of my existence. Okay, not really. But I still don't like it.

Anyway...then to campus. Luckily found a spot for me to illegally park in ;) for a few minutes to unload all of my stuff. Then off to the gym, which is where the subject of my post comes in. Ran/walked three miles with one of my really good friends, and I am so out of shape. Yuck. We spent most of our run/walk time catching up on everything and just talking. It was quite nice. Perhaps I'll go again tomorrow. I must do something to take up my time until classes start...hmmm...*thinks chaos*

And now, I depart, without a poem/freewrite to my name this evening. I'm actually kind of tired. Buenas noches, mis amigos. Escribiré luego...quizá mañana.

[i]Disclaimer: Not sure if you want to read all of this...[/i]

Weather: Not too bad...reminiscent of an early spring evening.

Mood: A little sleepy.

Movie: [u]Mr. Wrong[/u]. Starring Ellen Degeneres and Bill Pullman...featuring Joan Cusack. Crazy, kooky movie, I tell ya. A few rather funny parts.

Music: "My Favorite Things" -- John Coltrane

Subject of post: Here we go again. So...there's this guy I know from high school. We met when I was a freshman and he was a junior. He was the all-around, excel at pretty much everything guy; I was the musical, nerdy bookworm. (I see things haven't really changed there.) We met in Band, as he played saxophone and I played oboe. Got to know each other a bit, a couple of stands between us. One day, band practice was cancelled due to a football game later on in the day, (he as our quarterback), so I was just messing around on the piano in the band room. Caught his attention, and he asked me to play more things. Next thing I knew, he started taking piano lessons from the same teacher that I did. He's pretty much where I am in the musical development process now -- only it took him about 1/4 of the time it took me to get there. Anyway...he graduated, and that was about the time that I left to go to the science and math high school. He left a nice little entry in my yearbook about how he was glad we were "piano buddies" and that I was a true friend...and good luck, blah blah blah, signed your academic team captain, and all that good stuff. Two years go by, lo and behold I graduate, and I find out we will be attending the same college. Seen him a couple of times on campus, introduced him to my friends, who couldn't believe their eyes. Bringing us to the current time, pretty much.

Break. Time for description: 6'2", blond hair, blue eyes, built, very intelligent, witty, extremely kind, hard-working, and musical. Has a gorgeous smile and a quirky sense of humor. Says hello everytime I see him and always asks, "Do I get a hug?" Incredibly sweet and very attractive.

Kicker (as always): He's taken. By one of my really good friends from back home who also attends this college, has excellent piano skills and is very intelligent herself.

*sigh...smacks herself* Okay, I'm back. Sorry to bore, but all of that came flooding back because I went out to eat tonight with my parents at the family-owned restaurant where he works (his grandmother started and owns it.) He had a smile on his face and asked the same question. And of course, as always, I had the same response. I don't know what it is about him, but I get that whole giggly-elementary/junior- high school mentality sometimes around him. It's sad.

Point? I'm not sure there is one, besides a girl who still thinks about a guy when she sees him. He seems quite ideal. *puts the memories back where they belong*

So...anyway...headed back to college tomorrow. A nice long 5 hour drive to keep me sane. Just me, the road, and some tunes. Until my next post.

written 01/07/04

[i]I watched the thin swirl of cream and sugar
Disappear into my cup of coffee
Morning has returned, and I’m still the same
Frantically stirring away once more
Because I've convinced myself
That every problem can be solved that way
You never really liked coffee
But you said you would reconsider
Since you usually ended up kissing me
A few minutes after my daily fix
You've probably long-since forgotten that
I'm not even sure why I remembered it
Another day has begun as I watch
The steamy vapors drifting to eye level
And smell the favorite blend that
Began as coffee beans from a faraway place
Ending up as my respite in a mug
That is much too relied upon
Eyes closed, warmth emanating from cup to hands
I sip and wait patiently, hoping to find
Solutions to unanswered questions
Satiety to wavering desires;
More realistically, but less reassuringly
A temporary, enclosed, liquid sanctuary[/i]

See...[b][i]that[/i][/b] is why I need my 2% (or 1%) lowfat milk. I think I'll go grocery shopping for the parents and me today.

Hmmm...yes, my blog has been viewed 9837 times...ever since...maybe five days ago. And I opened it up yesterday...9837 times. Oh, and then I opened it today, and it's been viewed...*builds up suspense*...9837 times! Yay.

A lucky number? Perhaps. A tBLOG glitch? More likely.

Ah well. I think it's naptime.

My first sonnet, I think. Well, there was the one I wrote about the oboe once...but that was quite a while ago. I don't really remember if that was even a sonnet. Regardless, here goes:

Written 01/05/2004 (and 30 minutes into 01/06/2004)

[i]Don’t let the door hit you on your way out
Regret will do that for you soon enough
Make your way home on a familiar route
To ease emotions you’ll have to rebuff
Quite contrary to popular belief
I know what’s behind that look in your eyes
A tangled web of confusion, not relief
Hearing “I don’t love you” is no surprise
Familiarity never bred contempt
Not for us, few and far between quarrels
Indifference is one of your failed attempts
To hide the truth so blatantly aural
I heard your voice crack, your eyes averted
Your hesitance leaves me disconcerted[/i]

And now to sleep and dream of other things.

[url=http://www.paulgraham.com/say...]What You Can't Say[/url]

The above link was sent to me by a friend who is currently a senior at my old, public-but-with-somewhat- of-a-private-school-air, hellish, rather rigorous, demanding, college-level, [i][b]heavily[/b][/i] science-and-math oriented high school. Whew. I have some lovely (or frightening) anecdoates about that place, in case anyone's interested. Just ask.

Anyway, I just strayed off topic. The article above had science and math references in it, which I found interesting. But disregarding those references, it's a thought-provoking article in general that I think people should read.

Have a look, and please share your thoughts...

What can I say...sometimes I just can't help myself. I read something on a friend's blog, and I have to steal the basic format/layout for myself, but change a few things. Otherwise known as filling out one of those silly quizzes. :roll:

[b]Fill out this quiz using songs from one band/artist:[/b] John Mayer

1. Are you male or female?: Daughters. (That was the best I could do...)
2. Describe yourself: Bigger Than My Body. Quiet.
3. How do some people feel about you?: Sucker. (or Your Body is a Wonderland? :wink:)
4. How do you feel about yourself?: Something's Missing.
5. Describe your girlfriend/boyfriend/inte rest: No Such Thing.
6. Where would you rather be?: Great Indoors. Or...Outside in the Underground.
7. Describe what you want to be: Comfortable.
8. Describe how you live: Covered in Rain. Split-Screen Sadness.
9. Describe how you love: Love Song for No One. Only Heart.
10. Share a few words of wisdom: Love Soon. Everything is Not Broken. This Will All Make Perfect Sense Someday.

Movie: [u]The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King[/u]. So I'm a little behind the times...it was still good.
Music: [u]Hotel Paper[/u] -- Michelle Branch.

[url=http://www.tblog.com/template...][link][/url]

Latent gratitude...above link gave me that warm fuzzy feeling inside. Hope everyone had a great holiday.

Out with the old, in with the new. Change is inevitable. I just couldn't take it anymore. The compelling need to capitalize, space correctly, punctuate, and so forth has overtaken me once again. You're probably judging me for it... :P It strikes me ever so often to write in lowercase. And then, this. I don't understand it either.

Mood: Happy. Content, but getting less so as the end of winter break approaches. The new semester is at hand, and classes will reign over me and will take priority of my schedule once again. Okay, so it's "dwindling content," if you will.

Book: [b][u]The Da Vinci Code[/u] -- Dan Brown[/b]. Damn good book. I highly suggest you read it. Bounced to the top portion of my favorites list very quickly.

Music: [u]Transatlanticism[/u] -- Death Cab for Cutie and [u]Give Up[/u] -- Postal Service. Have a listen -- same lead singer for both groups.

Movie(s): [u]Elf[/u] and [u]Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World[/u]. Former was humorous, but inevitably forgettable. Latter was quite good; Crowe did well.

Subject of post: First line from the song "The New Year" by Death Cab for Cutie. Full lyrics to follow:

[i]So this is the new year,
And I don't feel any different.
The clanking of crystal,
Explosions off in the distance (in the distance).

So this is the new year,
And I have no resolutions
For self-assigned penance,
For problems with easy solutions.

So everybody put your best suit or dress on.
Let's make believe that we are wealthy for just this once,
Lighting firecrackers off on the front lawn
As thirty dialogues bleed into one.

I wish the world was flat like the old days.
Then I could travel just by folding a map.
No more airplanes or speedtrains or freeways,
There'd be no distance that can hold us back.

There'd be no distance that could hold us back. (x2)

So this is the new year. (x4)[/i]

I reiterate...have a listen.

Time to cram an entire week into an entry. So many things I want to say, but I am afraid it would be too lengthy and cumbersome to say [i]everything[/i]. A running trend for most things in my life...

Spent Christmas at home with the family. Went to midnight mass, had some sparkling apple cider, and went to bed. Woke up the next morning to find some fun presents to play with. Continuous eating ensued as we jumped from the first party to the second party -- a five hour ordeal of consumption.

December 26th -- Off to Colorado to ski for 3 days at Monarch. Weather was the coldest it had ever been on the mountain for as long as I have gone there to ski. Not so fun. Blizzardy up at the top, so I had a limited amount of runs. Those black diamonds are killer. My entire body was sore, and it was time for a much-needed break...I'm getting old and worn...:wink:

December 30th -- Drove to Denver. Looked around downtown, did some shopping and watched [u]Elf[/u]. An interesting city, it is...wouldn't mind living there, I suppose. Roads are somewhat difficult to get there during the winter, however. Stopped off at Vail along the way to look around...two words: [b][i]very nice[/b][/i]

December 31st -- Headed south to Colorado Springs. Lots of shopping. Just kind of taking it easy. Rung in the new year by peeling a pomegranate and waking up the family from their hour-long nap to toast with some sparkling apple cider. I know, I know. A little too wild.

January 1st -- More shopping. And watched [u]Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World[/u].

Today -- Drove home. Something about being on deserted two-lane roads with music playing is quite calming. Arrived home, unpacked, loaded up lots of laundry, took down the Christmas tree, and made dinner. Fun stuff.

And you've finally reached it: the end of today's entry. Congratulations if you made it this far. And if not...well...I don't blame you one bit.