frost over

The rest of what went with yesterday's post:

I took the weekend off.
Did I mention that I made the weekend a four-day weekend? Whoops.

And because it's the smart thing to do, I think I ended up doing more things while I was sick. I felt better, but I don't really know if that means I'll actually get better. And those "things" do not include staying on top of school.

Thursday
--yoga + steam room (relaxation spent well.)
--cafe do brasil (some magnificent apple cake.)
--med students' bar tour (cafe nova, vzd's, the sip(ango).)

Friday
--pilates (getting rougher, if that adjective is allowed with that noun.)
--sleep (missed out on movie night because my nasal passages/lungs/airways said, "no, i don't feel like working well anymore.")

Saturday
--orl/ent endoscopy workshop ("nasopharyngoscopy." saw the inner workings of the nose and throat with a little video-game-esque device. nice.)
--lido for chinese food.  (they were still celebrating chinese new year.)
--art museum (a little chihuly glasswork never hurt anyone.)
--charleston's, i-240 style (...umm. delicious food shared -- shrimp cargot, house salad, hawaiian top sirloin, loaded baked potato, grilled sea bass, pineapple upside-down cake, cafe charleston's. good company [planned]. interesting company [slightly unexpected]. see below.)
--tapwerks -- infamous bar in bricktown, one of the city's "hotspots."  parking is crazy.  i don't like all the busy-ness.

Sunday
--classen grill for extraordinary breakfasts (you're always such a wonderful place.)
--sleep (can't stop.)

In immediate retrospect, worth it; however, my immediate retrospect is not always the greatest determinant for what is "best."

(I use a lot of quotes and parentheses and other frequently non-essential, nonsensical, and ineffective punctuation marks.)

~~~~~~~

random tidbit:

It wasn't a slap to the face
So much as a brief comment made in passing,
But it stung and burned bright red
Long after it was said
In the place in my head I'd tried to forget about.

Background: by some interesting twist of fate, one of my best friends works at the same restaurant with the last guy I dated (see most of previous posts). So my close friend decided to take me to dinner since he gets a discount. And *someone* happened to be working that evening. Now the story.

Saturday I met her (the new girl). After I conversed with him (the most recent ex-dating one). And before I knew that they both already knew earlier that evening that I was coming in to dine (our waitress who is good friends with my best friend sort of leaked it to her, and it probably got to said ex). And I'm sure they know I know about them. She's pretty. Younger. Physically different from me, and I'm sure also mentally/emotionally/most everything else different. In a better way. And I would probably like her if I ever had/accepted the chance to get to know her. And I wonder if she's like whoever came before me, and if I was just the random wildcard thrown in for good measure.

It's not a game and it's not a race. But when I watch the former other reach this next place or restart this process before I do, there is a feeling similar to losing gracefully (or not). And so I invert and think for a little while. I realize that there is so much more distance here than before and that I have no idea how I will ever get to this next place/restart this process for myself.

[insert yesterday's non-prose post here]

Currently listening to Corinne Bailey Rae -- "Put Your Records On". Corresponding lyricism: "Girl, put your records on. Tell me your favourite song. You go ahead, let your hair down. Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams. Just go ahead, let your hair down. You're gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow."

It's not a game of life
It's trial and error
And the grey standard deviations
Tension and friction and loss of energy
Irony and fiction and truth hidden
Half-lives and time constants of love and lust
Reactivity and relativity and sparks flying
Homeostasis and variable control
Grand pauses and dissonance
Hyperboles and ellipses
Your use of lines and light
My primary emotion and your countertransference
The continuing struggle for a coup de grace
All of these things so we can move on
But never find ourselves in the same place
And on the same topic
With the people who need to witness it.